Look out Catholics, the agnostic and the Jew are back on the Camino.
We woke up early, after neither of us slept well or for long. The night before, I had noticed a coin-operated coffee machine in the hotel lobby. I went downstairs for my caffeine fix. There hadn't been any cups or instructions, even in Portuguese, so I put a reusable cup in the machine and paid. The machine ejected a paper cup, filled it with sugar, and then stopped working. The concierge came over. He said it was broken. He refunded my money, but caffeine was looking dismal.
"I'm pretty sure I broke that coffee machine," I told Katie. Great start to the day.
As we hiked to the cathedral to start the trail, we passed a McDonald's.
"Mickey D's has coffee!" Katie said.
"Are they open?" I said.
"Of course they are, it's Mickey D's!"
It looked like a couple was going in through the side door.
"Is McDonald's going to end up being my savior in...Portugal?" I went to the side door, and the couple side-eyed me and closed the door.
"Uhh...I don't think that's a McDonald's entrance...I think they live here. McDonald's is closed."
"What kind of fucking McDonald’s is this?" Katie said half kidding. "If they want to be a true McDonald’s, they gotta be open!"
I stopped following a random couple into their home and kept walking to the cathedral. Surprisingly, we found a cafe that was just opening its doors. I rushed in for a fix, and they even served breakfast food that wasn't just pastries. Hallelujah.
We hiked up to the trail mark at the cathedral and descended down the stairs...again.
"It's so weird there aren't other pilgrims around," Katie said.
"No it's not," I said. "Not here. I've walked alone most days. Some people get up crazy early to start. If there's anybody else, I usually see them at cafes or albergues later."
There are multiple routes from Porto to Santiago, so we were trying to make sure we followed the right one. There was also a lot of construction in Porto, likely blocking some of the arrows. At the bottom of the steps, we noticed a man who looked like he was also looking for a yellow arrow.
"Are you taking the coastal or central route?" I asked, not sure if he spoke English.
"Central," he said
"Us too, do you know which way?"
He showed us the direction his map was showing him. His name was Saulo. He was from Brazil originally (Brazilians speak Portuguese), but has lived in Montreal, Canada for the last 25 years. This is his first Camino.
"I thought there would be more pilgrims," he said. Katie agreed. Newbs.
Saulo has a gentle spirit. He walked with us out of the city. We stopped to use the bathroom.
"You're welcome to walk with us," I told him. "But we're slow, so please don't feel pressure to stick with us."
"That's okay, but please tell me if you want to walk alone," he said.
"Nah, we like meeting pilgrims."
A nice male presence to deter creeps, who's not hitting on us, fluent in English and the local language?? My brother. Bem-vindo.
I was telling him that Katie and I met on the Camino ten years ago, and that we've traveled a few times together since.
"Yeah it's funny because we've never lived remotely close to each other, but we travel well together. And then I know people I see all the time but know we wouldn't travel well together."
"Right, it's a special bond," he agreed.
"It's funny because we're very different. The physical part is very hard for her. I'm pretty physically healthy...but mentally I'm crazy." ("Crazy" has been used derogatorily for mentally ill people, but I am neurodivergent and sometimes use the word jovially to refer only to myself.)
He laughed, "Wait what, you're crazy?"
Katie walked out of the cafe. "What are we talking about?"
"That I'm physically able but mentally ill."
"Oh right, yes, can confirm. We balance each other out," she said.
We continued walking. As we were leaving the city, an old man started talking to us in Portuguese. He was showing us the route, which seemed clearly marked to me. We were going the correct direction. But he just kept talking after we were clearly going the correct way and nicely thanked him multiple times. Saulo was the only one who could talk to him. He slowed down to talk to him.
"He's so nice, slowing down and talking to him," Katie said.
"I've had this happen so many times," I told her. "I don't know what they're saying, I tell them that, and it doesn't stop. I don't know how to nicely leave a conversation that I didn't start and don't know how to stop, and sometimes they've even followed me while I've walked."
Saulo caught up with us after a few minutes.
"Wow...that guy was a lot..." he said.
"Yeah, sorry to keep going. I've just had so many men try to explain things to me on this trip, that I didn't ask for, that I'm over it. I smile, I say obrigado. I don't want you following me down the path especially when I've been walking over 30 km."
He laughed. "That's fair."
"Do you know the term 'mansplain'?" I asked. Katie laughed.
"Yes, it's cultural right? It's cultural to Europe?"
"Well I think it's a lot of places. I know it's in America, but maybe Europe is where we also learned that from."
I told him some of the very obvious things men have been telling me. He looked shocked.
"The world is changing fast and not everybody can keep up," he said.
"I mean, in many cases though, the social rules were made by one group of elite people and over time other people have pushed back. In the States, it's rich white men. And over time, women and others have pushed back to get more rights and access."
"Right, and I think with how global everything is now we see it more," he said.
"Definitely!" I agreed. "When you see other cultures you realize how much social rules are made up and are not just 'the way things are.' It makes you think, 'wait a minute, they’re not doing that, we don’t have to do that either!'" He nodded.
After about 19 km we stopped at a cafe to eat and rest.
"Heyyy, pilgrims!" A group of pilgrims sitting at the cafe shouted.
"Hey, you sound American," I said to them.
"So do you," they said. "Where in it?" We chatted for a bit. It was there first day.
"Wow, look at that beat up guidebook. Did you start in Lisbon?" one of the women asked me.
"You mean this beat up PERSON? And yes I did." Ya girl is looking rough, y'all.
"That book does sum you up well..." Katie said.
"Damaged?" Yes.
I pulled out a jar of peanut butter and loaf of bread from my backpack and made myself a sandwich. They were shocked.
"You're just carrying around an entire jar of peanut butter?"
"Yep."
"Isn't that heavy?"
"Yep. Been doing this 2.5 weeks."
They shook their heads and returned to the trail.
"Did you know them?" Saulo asked.
"No?"
"You, seemed like you knew them?"
"No that’s just how the Camino is," Katie said. "We all have a shared goal and interests and usually people want to talk to each other."
His eyes lit up.
"Hi Florida!" a man approaching the cafe said. He was a German man I met from an albergue several nights before.
"Hi Germany!"
I introduced him to Katie and Saulo and we chatted for a bit as well. I went inside to get a coffee (yes another). An older man at the counter started speaking to me in German.
"Oh I'm not German," I said. "That couple outside is."
"Yes but what are you? English? Italian? What are you?" He asked.
I've actually been saying to Katie that it's funny nobody can place where I'm from. This keeps happening. Ten years ago, everyone knew I was American. Now, they seem confused.
"I'm American," I told him.
"Are you Californian?"
"No, but my friend outside is from California."
"Yes, but what about you?"
"Do I seem Californian?" I asked, confused why he was guessing my origin. I originally thought he had confused me with the pilgrims outside.
"Uh, I don't know. I heard the weather is very similar, and you seem ok in this weather."
"I am originally from Florida, so I am used to it being warm."
"You're doing the Camino?" He asked.
"Yes."
"For religious reasons?"
"No, I'm not religious."
"Then why are you doing it?"
I ask myself that around kilometer 35 every day buddy.
"Um...time to think," I said.
"Ah, to clear the head."
"Yes. And to take a break from work."
"Yes, Americans work a lot."
"We do. And when you work so much, you can forget who you are."
He nodded. "Do you like the Portuguese people?"
"Yes, most of my experiences have been very good."
"We are a gentle people. Peaceful."
I mean, I doubt Brazil would agree. But alright.
"People do seem very relaxed here," I said.
"Yes, we do relax."
"Well, time for me to hit the trail again."
"Ciao."
Katie, Saulo, and I strugglebussed through our last 9 kms to our destination. The day before, I had called all of the albergues in town. The first two were full. The last one let me reserve a bed for Katie and myself. It was free, they only accepted donations, which isn't unusual on the Camino. They told me to check in at the pharmacy in town. I walked into the pharmacy, and the worker gave me the key and directions to get to the room. We asked if there was room for Saulo, and she said yes there are four beds in the room.
The room was down the street and out of the way of the city. Saulo's Portuguese helped us find the location. It was literally a room in a schoolyard. As we walked up, the kids were lining up to play in the yard, and they were very intrigued to see us.
One boy walked up, "hello!"
Saulo responded in Portuguese. The boy was surprised he spoke Portuguese and ran back to his friend group, who heckled him. It looked like he'd been dared to speak English to tourists, and it happened to be one of the few who know Portuguese.
After the kids went in to play , we followed behind and tried to get the door to open with the key. I tried several times, Saulo tried several times. Katie was miserable and found somewhere to sit while we tried to figure it out. I even called the pharmacy again to see if they gave us the right key. Finally, Saulo jiggled it enough to have it move some. He leaned his whole body into it. I gave it a good kick, and between both of our body weights the door opened.
"This is the dirtiest albergue I've ever seen," Katie said.
It was filthy. But what else were we going to do? I had called everywhere else. I grabbed some toilet paper and started wiping the grime off of a top bunk before I put my sleeping back on it. Katie was NOT enthused.
"Do you see those spiders in the corner?" Katie asked.
"Yeah, but they're dead, I checked."
Katie found the bathroom.
"The toilet won't even flush."
All of the other water faucets worked.
"Let's see if there's a valve or something we need to turn." Saulo found the valve. "We can't leave it on. The water won't hold. We will need to turn the valve every time, let it fill, and then turn it back off," he said.
"Okay, I've done that before," I said. I mean, I've also managed emptying and filling a trailer sewage tank for almost two years.
"Well I guess I'm just bougie because I think that's ridiculous," Katie said, exhausted.
"I didn't even ask," he said. "Are you both comfortable with me sharing a room with you tonight?"
"Oh yeah, that's how it goes on the Camino," Katie said. "But thank you for asking!"
I told y'all the man had good energy.
I took a shower, with the only cold water we had, and washed my day's outfit. Right as I hung my clothes and towel over a wall outside to dry, the kids came back out to play.
"So glad I put my underwear out right before children came to see them," I half joked.
The kids swarmed Saulo, asking him lots of questions in Portuguese.
I sat down a few feet away from him and pulled out my phone to start blogging. A group of little girls came over and all sat right in front of me, inches from my face. They started asking questions in Portuguese.
"Uhhh, não falo portuguese," I said apologetically.
They asked me something with "onde," in it, which I know means "where?" It sounded like they wanted to know where I was from.
"I'm American."
"Oh, so English?" One little girl said quickly.
"Yes!" I said. God, kids are so smart when they're able to be exposed to things at a young age.
I asked their names and they asked mine, but it wasn't long before their teacher blew the whistle that signaled them back to the classroom. They waved at us and said "ciao" every time they passed the school yard for the rest of the day (which was like three times).
"What were they asking you?" Katie asked Saulo.
He laughed. "They asked, 'how can you talk to them?'" We laughed. "And they asked, 'why are you walking so much?'" GOOD QUESTION.
"And they also wanted to know, 'why is that lady putting her clothes out there?'" I cackled.
After we had each showered, we walked back into town to find some food. The restaurant had good wifi, so I started trying to blog again. I sent the link to Saulo.
"Wait, you're a doctor?" He said, seeing the website name. It startled me for a second.
I've been around someone all day and didn't mention work at all. I'm basically European now 💅🏼
"Psychologist."
He looked shocked.
"Yeah, think about it. She told you she's crazy," Katie said. "You ever meet a psychologist who wasn't crazy?"
He asked about my work and what I do. At some point the conversation shifted to Saulo asking, "why do you think people believe such crazy things? Like why do we have people who still think the earth is flat?" Katie had short, reasonable responses, like access to education. And I went on one of my tirades about colonization, wealth hoarding, slavery, etc., where I probably looked like this.
Saulo looked at me wide-eyed.
"See," Katie said. "Brilliantly crazy."
"The mad social scientist," I joked. "I can tell I'm going too far for a dinner time conversation, but I just can't help myself."
"It's just cool for me because let me tell you Saulo, she was not like this ten years ago."
"I wasn't," I said. "I was very ignorant. I have changed a lot."
"She's my friend but with our age difference she's also like a little sister and it's cool to see your little sister grow up."
"I think that's why I like traveling and hearing people's stories and sharing them," I said to Saulo later. "Traveling was a big piece of my education, and I have a soft spot for trying to make it a tiny bit more accessible for everyone else."
A bit later, Saulo asked me to explain "toxic masculinity."
"Can I ask that or is that too much?" He asked
Katie cackled. "Are you kidding me? I know she LOVED it when you asked if we were comfortable sharing a room with you."
"I DID!" I said. "I was like I KNEW I COULD SENSE THE NON-TOXIC MASCULINITY UP IN HERE!"
We chatted for a while, and then the two of them headed back to the room, while I'm resting in the park writing this blog.
"Alright kids, see y'all at home. Our next lecture will be on systemic racism!" I hollered. Katie rolled her eyes.
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